Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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