so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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