I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
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