Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
