Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
