i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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