What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
