ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
