And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
