it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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