Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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