I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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