google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
