i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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