and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You ate ashes out of my bong
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize