he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
