if only i could text you this smell
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Drunk is not a location!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
