...so i touched it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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