You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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