I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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