Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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