My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
