And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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