I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
