Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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