I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
