This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
