I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
