do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I cut my penus on the lid.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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