Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
