i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i already hear my dad disowning me
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
