if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
