Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
