it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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