He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
