Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
