Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
