She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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