drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
