Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
