I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
