we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
