I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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