You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
