is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
