Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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