They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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