I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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