one two three fourrrrnication!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
