Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
