Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize