I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
NoShamevember. You game?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
