I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
