broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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