onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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