He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
