Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
