He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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