I want to have your abortion
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
