we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
