I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
