All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
