Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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