Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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