I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
