if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
