I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize