that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
