Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
