Your mouth is God's brothel.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
